Journey to a healthy me

You would think after losing close to 100 pounds that my relationship with food would have changed. However, right now I don't think it really has. I have found new foods that I enjoy and have learned to enjoy foods that I once abused. However, I still look to food for comfort. I still will grab something that looks good when I'm feeling down. I will eat even when I'm not necessarily hungry. I honestly am sick of feeling deprived with such low calories. I'm not quite happy with the weight I'm at, but I'm trying to accept it if I can't lose any more weight. I'm sabotaging myself even though I so badly want to lose more weight. Food has a grip on me and I'm struggling with self-control. This is where I'm at odds right now because of my faith. I lack self-control, which is a fruit of the spirit. I am a Christian, but my walk with Christ is horrible right now, and honestly has been for a long time. I just don't know where to start. Today I feel s...

I honestly don't take very many rest days. Usually Sundays I don't go to the gym but I tend to grocery shop and run errands. Today though, after only working a short shift, I rested. I listened to music, iced my knee (that's another post for another time), and reflected on this life I have been given. As I read a small devotional by A.W. Towzer about Christ loving the outcasts it reminded me lyrics from a song. ”Jesus loves the outcasts, he loves the ones the world just loves to hate ". This hits home. I was an outcast most of my life because of my weight and beliefs. Even today I feel like an outcast at times. It also reflects to my job. I work with a population that at times no one wants to work with. I just wish I could share Jesus with them and have them truly believe. Today I made positive food choices and I didn't even workout. 1350 is low but today was manageable. I need to find my rhythm again to eat well. There are too many temptations. Self control is so...

July 1, 2012 I made the decision that would ultimately change my life. I decided that I was going to take control of my health and weight. I woke up realizing I was sick and tired of the girl I kept seeing in the mirror. The smile on my face was fake. I remember the sizes all of the things I am wearing are. T-shirt was XXL, tank was XL, jeans were 20 short, the fleece was a men's XL, and my bra was most likely a snug 42 DD. Why do I remember the sizes? Probably because I was ashamed of the size I was. I was ashamed of the person I allowed myself to become. I hated that I allowed myself to get to a point of pure unhappiness where I honestly hated myself. Fast forward 2.5 years and I see a different person in the mirror. I see a young woman who smiles. I see a young woman that feels that she has worth. I see a young woman who feels more confident. I know the exact sizes I'm wearing in both pictures of me now... Is that bad? I don't think so. I know what I weigh ...