Journey to a healthy me

I honestly don't take very many rest days. Usually Sundays I don't go to the gym but I tend to grocery shop and run errands. Today though, after only working a short shift, I rested. I listened to music, iced my knee (that's another post for another time), and reflected on this life I have been given. As I read a small devotional by A.W. Towzer about Christ loving the outcasts it reminded me lyrics from a song. ”Jesus loves the outcasts, he loves the ones the world just loves to hate ". This hits home. I was an outcast most of my life because of my weight and beliefs. Even today I feel like an outcast at times. It also reflects to my job. I work with a population that at times no one wants to work with. I just wish I could share Jesus with them and have them truly believe. Today I made positive food choices and I didn't even workout. 1350 is low but today was manageable. I need to find my rhythm again to eat well. There are too many temptations. Self control is so...

July 1, 2012 I made the decision that would ultimately change my life. I decided that I was going to take control of my health and weight. I woke up realizing I was sick and tired of the girl I kept seeing in the mirror. The smile on my face was fake. I remember the sizes all of the things I am wearing are. T-shirt was XXL, tank was XL, jeans were 20 short, the fleece was a men's XL, and my bra was most likely a snug 42 DD. Why do I remember the sizes? Probably because I was ashamed of the size I was. I was ashamed of the person I allowed myself to become. I hated that I allowed myself to get to a point of pure unhappiness where I honestly hated myself. Fast forward 2.5 years and I see a different person in the mirror. I see a young woman who smiles. I see a young woman that feels that she has worth. I see a young woman who feels more confident. I know the exact sizes I'm wearing in both pictures of me now... Is that bad? I don't think so. I know what I weigh ...

I decided to start watching this season's Biggest Loser. Jillian made an interesting comment. She was reminding contestants about why they were there. Why am I on this journey? Why am I working to lose another 30 pounds? Why? 1. I am going to lose this weight to be HEALTHY. Heart disease, Type 2 Diabetes, and high cholesterol run in my family. 2. I am going to lose this weight to be happy, confident, and "me". 3. I am going to lose this weight to open doors for future opportunities. 4. I am going to lose this weight for my future family. 5. I am going to lose this weight in order to maintain my weight. How am I going to lose the last 30 pounds? 1. I am going to plan my meals throughout the week. 2. I am going to measure my portions. 3. I am going to work out 3 to 4 times a week (Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday) 4. I am going to get enough sleep. 5. I am going to stop buying chocolate snack bars that tempt me to eat more than 1 serving.

This week I've continued to struggle to get to the gym in the morning. My schedule is so hectic that whenever I can sleep in I will. I do not know what I am lacking in motivation or determination to get there. I have found that if I exercise I am more likely to eat well throughout the day. I need to figure out something to get myself back on track in order to meet my weight loss goal. I'm just stuck. Tomorrow is a brand new day, a busy day, but planning again to go work out and enjoy the crazy fitness class bright and early.

I have lost 70 pounds! Last week marked a year  since I started my journey to get to a healthy weight. I doubted myself at times, but I am not going back now! I never imagined that I could stick with watching my calories and making exercise a priority everyday. This week has been a quick weight loss week. I know I haven't been eating enough most of the week, but generally make up by dinner time with calories. Working out has been getting easier. I have been reading, but just finished the book so I need to find another book to read starting tomorrow. I starting running more. I am pushing myself to get fit and healthy. My vacation is coming up, and I can't wait to see the pictures because I will have comparison pictures of one year of this journey.

Typically I have to be careful walking out of the bathroom to my bedroom so my family doesn't get a glimpse of my butt. Well today I discovered that is no longer a problem. I can wrap a towel around me and do not have to worry about my butt sticking out! These little things make me so happy. I have lost 67.8 pounds so far and want to lose another 50 pounds to be at a healthy weight. I increased to 4 days at the gym and started my running program again has been helping me to reach my goal. Eating has been tough lately. I have been so busy that I typically miss breakfast and lunch. I started drinking coffee without anything added to it, and I love it! It has a great taste and I love its zero calories!  A new week starts tomorrow and I need to get a few of my eating habits under control.

The other day I was thinking back to where I started... I never took a starting photo, because I didn't think I'd be blogging about it. I'm amazed at the transformation. I've lost 55 pounds! It's been slow, but I'm glad it's been slow because I'm learning how to eat better (slowly) as well as how to manage my time with work, exercise, and school. This was taken in September. I finally fit in an XL in misses! I was so excited (you can tell by my expression). I fit, but it was a little snug, but I didn't care! It fit and that's what counted in my head. Since September I've lost more and can fit in an XL in Juniors! I'm young and I want to wear younger clothes that make me feel confident in myself. This is me a few days ago. My face is smaller, by arms are smaller, my hands are smaller, and my body is smaller! EVERYTHING is smaller! That outfit was something I didn't think I'd fit into. My loose skin is causing me to feel v...

I have recently found inspiration from a blog that I stumbled upon by chance. I look at it every evening when it's updated and have even been brave enough to try a breakfast concoction of hers. Today though I realized I am an inspiration to those around me. My sister, who we have our good days and bad days, was talking about getting a gym membership today. Our local Y is so expensive, and since we adult children are living at home longer, our base for assistance includes our parents income, it makes it difficult. I have a student membership since I'm still in college, that's affordable for me. I made an agreement with her... She has to download MyFitnessPal and if she can lose 20 pounds by July 1st, I'll pay for a 6 month gym membership to a small gym near home. I don't doubt she can do it at all! I am glad to see that I am an inspiration to my sister, and hopefully my other family members.

I've had a tough weekend following MyFitnessPal calories... I exercised a TON on Friday, and had a HUGE meal. Saturday I stayed under my calories, and today I think I'll go over since I just ate a ton of chocolate. I exercised, but got frustrated with my running program... I couldn't do 5 minutes. I tried, but had to tell myself that I can try another day. Back to my weight gain. I've lost 40 pounds, but I stepped on the scale and I'm up a total of 5-6 pounds! I'm discouraged because I've been trying, buy maybe not hard enough. I'm going to hard boil some eggs, and plan my meals better for this coming week. I hope that I can get back on track! I know I can do it, I just can't let little slip ups discourage me from pushing myself to continue to become healthier.