Journey to a healthy me

Since starting my journey in July 2012 my friend group has shrunk. Now there is not a direct correlation between losing friends and my weight loss journey. Some have moved, others have gotten married and fallen off the face of the earth (I'm a strong independent single woman if you haven't figured that out. Not that I'm opposed to getting married, I just haven't met the right person), people have changed churches, and my friends including myself have gotten new jobs that involve more responsibility. Anyways. Back in 2007/2008 I started to go to a new church. I really liked it A LOT. Then when my sister graduated she started attending in 2009ish. We've both stayed at the church, but right now I'm stuck because "my friends" don't hang out with me anymore... They hang out with my sister. I find things out through social media that I'm not invited to get coffee, yet almost EVERY Saturday these same people want to hang out at my apartment because 1....

I have been trying to pinpoint what went wrong with my journey. I'm stuck. I just identified what has trumped me... The Food Scale.  I got a scale for my birthday to weigh my food because I had read that it was more accurate. Well since I got the scale I feel more deprived. Now this probably isn't the case for everyone, but it is for me. I am going to eat what I want without weighing. I'm going back to old fashioned measuring cups and seeing if that helps me to be able to stay on target. So I packed my lunch for tomorrow WITHOUT weighing my peanut butter, carrots, and grapes. I simply threw some in a bag and have them for lunch tomorrow. I'm going to try this. I've been very off since April with my weight loss journey. This is the only thing I can identify, oh and that I'm done with grad school, but I think obsessing over weighing my food is not beneficial for my weightloss journey. Now it may be different for each one of you, but for me this is what I'm goi...

I took quite the break from eating well and exercising consistently. I just finished day 5 of eating under my calories. I exercised 3 days and have now proven to myself I can run for 31 minutes without stopping! I bought a new bike and cannot wait for it to warm up. Better nutrition is helping me feel so much better. Anxiety has still been rough. Thinking about everything I need to do this week is slightly overwhelming, but I got it. I am at a 94.6 pound weight loss as of yesterday. I want to reach 100 by April 1st. I would love to reach my goal weight of between 135-140 by June 1st. If I don't its OK, but would love to by July 1st to celebrate my 2nd year on this journey at my goal weight. The end is in sight and I can taste it!

I've been thinking about resolutions that I would like to make this year. I have a few that are related to school, some related to work, and some related to my weight loss journey. But before I get there, I want to recap on a few things. Two years ago I decided to make a New Years resolution to give up diet soda. I have done just that. I have not had diet soda in over 2 years. It has been difficult at times, but I feel better not drinking it because I drink more water. I still crave it, but I don't want to make a compromise and have one here and there because I was addicted. I couldn't go without it. One year ago I weighed 224 pounds. Today I weight 167.6 pounds. In one year I have lost over 50 pounds through watching what I eat and exercising. What will this year bring with my weight loss journey? I'm nearing the end of my journey, but it's really only the start because I will then have to learn how to maintain my weight loss. I am not really sure what my goal ...

With Christmas comes all the people that have moved away coming back for the holidays with their families. I left work early yesterday to just shop. I wanted to look for some deals and I found a few. I also had to stop at my cell phone provider's store to see if they could fix my phone issue with not being able to text my mom. They were of no help. While there I saw a girl I graduated high school with. She was with her parents. I didn't say hi to her because I wanted to get my phone situation taken care of. She looked at me, and looked away. I then went to a store and saw a guy I graduated high school with. He was working and as chance would have he was the cashier that I had to go to. I said hello. He treated me like every other customer. Am I hurt? No. It makes me feel FABULOUS about myself. I am down 86 pounds and people do not recognize me :) I'm ok with that.

I decided to start watching this season's Biggest Loser. Jillian made an interesting comment. She was reminding contestants about why they were there. Why am I on this journey? Why am I working to lose another 30 pounds? Why? 1. I am going to lose this weight to be HEALTHY. Heart disease, Type 2 Diabetes, and high cholesterol run in my family. 2. I am going to lose this weight to be happy, confident, and "me". 3. I am going to lose this weight to open doors for future opportunities. 4. I am going to lose this weight for my future family. 5. I am going to lose this weight in order to maintain my weight. How am I going to lose the last 30 pounds? 1. I am going to plan my meals throughout the week. 2. I am going to measure my portions. 3. I am going to work out 3 to 4 times a week (Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday) 4. I am going to get enough sleep. 5. I am going to stop buying chocolate snack bars that tempt me to eat more than 1 serving.

My eating is OUT OF CONTROL! I had every intention of doing really well today. I started my day off right, then had a light lunch, then a workout, and a snack. Dinner is when I just fell off the wagon. I was making 2 portions of pasta that way I had leftovers for lunch to take with me to work... I got out of control and ate 3/4 of the pan. I then wanted something sweet. I had bought something that I shouldn't have and ate two of these fabulous "granola" bars that are more like candy bars. I did throw away this pumpkin bread and cookies that I somehow brought into my house. I know I need to stop putting off getting back on track. I packed my lunch for tomorrow and I packed my breakfast. I am going to stay on track tomorrow. It has been a struggle lately to keep myself accountable for what I choose to eat. I am doing this to myself and I'm going to lose this weight! I have about 30 pounds to go. I CAN and I WILL do this.