Defeat
As a school counselor, I'm here to help students, sometimes I being firm is important. But today I feel defeat. My feeling of defeat are not only in my career, but also my personal life. I finally stepped on the scale after getting married and the number staring back at me is not where I want to be... I am scared to go back to where I've been. I've had a lot of changes in my life attributing to that weight gain. Starting a new relationships, starting a lovely medication that has too many side effects to list, moving, getting married, and just trying to figure out a "normal" life. I feel defeat when it comes to eating well, exercising, and being myself. My clothes don't fit so I'm squeezing into clothes because I can't buy new clothes right now and don't want to admit defeat in having to buy bigger clothes. I'm trying so hard to just be "normal" but I can't be anything close to normal. I have to go back to trying to get my eating