Journey to a healthy me

Have you ever caught yourself comparing yourself to everyone around you? I know I have. I've compared myself from a very young age. When I was young I lived in a trailer... Often people would judge people who lived in a trailer, calling them "trailer trash". We didn't have much growing up. I never really had the fanciest clothes, name brand clothes, or the newest gadgets. I'd compare my weight, athletic ability, intelligence, where I was at in life, my personality, my talents, and my financial situation. Problem is this comparison trap is still ingrained into us as human beings. We want the next best thing. We want the newest laptop, the newest cell phone, the newest tablet, the newest car, the newest tv, the newest furniture, the newest bike, the newest fad, the newest "you fill in the blank". We want a different name, a new family, a new home, new friends, a new school, new teachers, etc. Even to this day, I get stuck wanting to be thinner, more at

For the past 2 weeks life has had its ups and downs... Actually the last 4 months have had their ups and downs. Since my last post my cousin, who was only 20, was killed in a car accident. I still keep hoping it's a nightmare. As I try and plan a family vacation, it's difficult thinking she won't be there... I keep thinking I'll go to her house and she'll be there. However she won't be. It's hard when you don't get to tell someone goodbye or that you love them as much as you do. I've also had some great stuff go on in my life. God was definitely in that and the bad. This person I've known for years finally caught my attention. The last 3 or 4 months have been pretty new and exciting and scary. Then the last 2 weeks have been awful. My hear races for no reason. I wake up anxious. I lose sleep. I'm sick to my stomach. It's unexplainable. It's tough when you have an inclining that it's Satan trying to attack. I'm in a good pla