Journey to a healthy me

With Christmas comes all the people that have moved away coming back for the holidays with their families. I left work early yesterday to just shop. I wanted to look for some deals and I found a few. I also had to stop at my cell phone provider's store to see if they could fix my phone issue with not being able to text my mom. They were of no help. While there I saw a girl I graduated high school with. She was with her parents. I didn't say hi to her because I wanted to get my phone situation taken care of. She looked at me, and looked away. I then went to a store and saw a guy I graduated high school with. He was working and as chance would have he was the cashier that I had to go to. I said hello. He treated me like every other customer. Am I hurt? No. It makes me feel FABULOUS about myself. I am down 86 pounds and people do not recognize me :) I'm ok with that.

I decided to start watching this season's Biggest Loser. Jillian made an interesting comment. She was reminding contestants about why they were there. Why am I on this journey? Why am I working to lose another 30 pounds? Why? 1. I am going to lose this weight to be HEALTHY. Heart disease, Type 2 Diabetes, and high cholesterol run in my family. 2. I am going to lose this weight to be happy, confident, and "me". 3. I am going to lose this weight to open doors for future opportunities. 4. I am going to lose this weight for my future family. 5. I am going to lose this weight in order to maintain my weight. How am I going to lose the last 30 pounds? 1. I am going to plan my meals throughout the week. 2. I am going to measure my portions. 3. I am going to work out 3 to 4 times a week (Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday) 4. I am going to get enough sleep. 5. I am going to stop buying chocolate snack bars that tempt me to eat more than 1 serving.

My eating is OUT OF CONTROL! I had every intention of doing really well today. I started my day off right, then had a light lunch, then a workout, and a snack. Dinner is when I just fell off the wagon. I was making 2 portions of pasta that way I had leftovers for lunch to take with me to work... I got out of control and ate 3/4 of the pan. I then wanted something sweet. I had bought something that I shouldn't have and ate two of these fabulous "granola" bars that are more like candy bars. I did throw away this pumpkin bread and cookies that I somehow brought into my house. I know I need to stop putting off getting back on track. I packed my lunch for tomorrow and I packed my breakfast. I am going to stay on track tomorrow. It has been a struggle lately to keep myself accountable for what I choose to eat. I am doing this to myself and I'm going to lose this weight! I have about 30 pounds to go. I CAN and I WILL do this.

This week I've continued to struggle to get to the gym in the morning. My schedule is so hectic that whenever I can sleep in I will. I do not know what I am lacking in motivation or determination to get there. I have found that if I exercise I am more likely to eat well throughout the day. I need to figure out something to get myself back on track in order to meet my weight loss goal. I'm just stuck. Tomorrow is a brand new day, a busy day, but planning again to go work out and enjoy the crazy fitness class bright and early.

Today I got up (after hitting the snooze twice) and went to the gym. I went to my favorite fitness class. I felt so much better doing something good for myself. I didn't get a chance to run this morning, but the fitness class was around the track. We did a circuit and then had to run around the track to the next. You had to run past the next station though and back to it. I had someone in the class that I stuck with. It's nice having a partner and pushing each other.

The past few weeks have been really rough for weight loss and eating healthy. My semester has been wrapping up and I had a few things to finish to get a "P" and move on to my next internship. My roommate moved out so I have to figure things out more on my own. I've had a hectic schedule and have not made healthy choices in a while. My weight keeps fluctuating between 165 and 170. I know that I'm not doing things right to get my the weight off right now. I'm in a rut and can't get out of it. I should be proud of my weight loss going from 256 pounds to 165-170 pounds, but I really have a goal in mind and I would like to lose at least another 20 to 30 pounds. I need to get back on track. This week I've been pretty depressed resulting in eating comfort foods. I had brownies in my apartment which is not a good idea... They are gone, but I definitely ate a lot of them. I've been lacking in self control to eat well and take the time to pack my lunch. My exe